SO the good news is that I don’t weigh more than I thought I did after my last weigh-in at my midwife’s office in August. I seemed to have a pretty good awareness of how much I gained since then. The bad news is that I (forever the optimist) was hoping I was wrong and that my weigh in would be less. My goal is set strong at 100lbs by New Years Day 2011. Not in anyway unhealthy or unachievable. That’s only 2 lbs a week all year. I can’t even IMAGINE how great it’s going to feel to turn 30, having let the thin woman inside of my out of the prison she has spent the past 11 years in. THAT, and being in a place of appreciating myself so I can be a good role-model for my daughter and the young lady friends she will someday have, are my motivation every day as I choose health, choose to move, and choose life!
I have chosen my morning coffee creamer as my daily indulgence. I need one, and one that will be the same daily so I cannot somehow reason-in others. Seems like a good plan. I got some nuts and organic small apples for a mid morning snack, and wholegrain tortilla chips and salsa for my mid-afternoon snack. 100 Calorie mini-bags of microwave popcorn for those after dinner tv/movie munching I usually fall prey to and LOTS of lemons for lemon-water and salad vinagrette. My plan is to alternate a green salad with meat and a quick lemon juice- EVOO-onion-garlic-herb vinagrette each day for lunch with a turkey cheese sandwich and cucumber vinagrette salad. I occasionally make delicious homemade soup so I will alternate that on soup days. My stumble is usually having ALOT of soup on soup days. My goal is to work on 1 cup portion with a couple wholegrain crackers. Dinners will be the usual cause we eat really healthy balanced meals, I am just going to try and cut back on how much fat I am using in my cooking. As far as random grazing (a habit I am trying to kick) I have organic carrot sticks cut up in a container on the counter for whenever the urge to munch kicks in. Hopefully this will help me kick the habit if my grazing option is healthy…or I will just keep eating alot of carrot sticks. lol
Last night I won a (to me) major victory! Keep in mind I do not consider arguments with my husband that he ends up agreeing with me victories. The victory is that I stood up for myself. Stood up for my needs instead of being afraid of being a diva and letting the needs of others keep me from taking the steps I need to take to reach my goals and get healthy. My first goal of 2010 was to get a good bathroom scale and weigh in to start moving forward. I told hubby that I was going to the store to get some groceries and he agreed to watch the kids. Told him I was going to buy a bathroom scale and he told me we didn’t have money for it. I told him I was going to use the credit card and he told me not to. To wait for the 7th when he got paid. That’s almost a whole week away. Of putting off my starting point. Trying to be a submissive wife, I said okay and tried to let it go. Tried. Then a certain $8 cake that he got at the store a few days ago came in to mind. We didn’t have any more cash than we did then so I respectfully asked why money was available when he wanted cake (after 2 weeks of holiday binging I might add) but not to buy bathroom scales. That led to some not nice name calling and my feelings got hurt. As per usual. I decided then that I HAD to stick up for my needs and put the bathroom scales on the table again. He didnt’ like that at all. It is situations like this that I usually just let it go. I usually reason away all the things I want to say to defend my “cause” and decide that peace is worth it. That’s how I got this way…this overweight and unhappy with my body and appearances. When priority goes everywhere but, for long enough, you start to really believe that it doesn’t matter any more. Well I know my patterns and history well enough to know that for some reason, if I didn’t get those scales like I had in my goal plan to do, the whole thing would get put off and put off until I was turning 30 and giving in to being this way for the rest of my life. I shared this with my husband and as per usual when I come to the table with humility and respect, he heard me and my heart. We now have a bathroom scale and my husband knows I respect him…and I know that there are times when I can put myself in front of the priority pack. Now, I am off to clean my kitchen, or snuggle my amazing, sick almost-3 years old son while his little sister naps.